I'm ready to sigh with relief. I'm ready to know that everything is going to be alright. I'm sick of everything and sick of myself. I've grown up hating everything about myself and the place I grew up in. I want so much and I've worked really hard, but I just can't seem to grasp what I want. It's so close dammit. What do I have to do? Steal? Kill?.. I just want to be content. I just want what I've paid for in blood, sweat, and tears. I hate myself, I hate my selfishness, and I hate the people that want anything to do with me. I'm absolutely miserable and this post is absolutely fucking boring to everyone, but myself. In fact I don't think anyone else has even read anything on this blog.. so whats the fucking point? What's the fucking point of anything? What's the point of trying, striving, and slaving to fit social standards and psychological self gratification? I hate being human, I hate being alive, but I can't kill myself. I wish I could just float away on a small boat into the ocean and just sleep forever. I want to just float along in a state of absolute content forever and ever. I never want to deal with getting up, with people, with girls, with family, with friends, or anything. It's all pointless. I'm an emo fucking teenie bopper in an adults body living the lifestyle of a college student with a professional degree. I want to be swallowed by the earth and just set free.